Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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