I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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