Do you still have your period?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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