I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
