Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
