was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
