I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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