i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
