I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
