And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
