I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
