He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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