Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
