Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
