i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will be naked everywhere
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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