Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
