Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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