My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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