I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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