Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
