I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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