dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
