"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
