As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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