I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
