If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
