why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
