How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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