P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
