did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
