I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
