i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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