He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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