hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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