I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love having hate sex.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize