I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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