Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
