Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
