Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
