my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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