I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
