I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
