lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
