Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
