Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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