I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
