so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
