Sponge bath it is.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
