I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
