I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
