College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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