I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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