Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
