Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
