I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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