He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
