lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its about making memories worth repressing
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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