with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
