Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My first STD was from a foam party
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
