mondays should just be called national damage control day
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
