I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
